children whose parents have died of AIDS.

New York City and other cities have special programs to assist grieving children whose parents have died of AIDS.

At the Henry Street counseling center, a supervisor, Lela Charney, said AIDS orphans are encouraged to appreciate their parents redeeming values while recogn izing their mistakes. Otherwise, she said, "they may feel --- and people may tel l them 'Your father was no good, your mother was no good, and you're no good and you're going to grow up like them.'"

The great fear is that such prophecies will become self- fulfilling. "Unless these kids are able to grieve and talk about these things," said Ms. Ahto, "they will be (the) next generation of addicts and people with AIDS."5

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Children need help before and after a loved one d ies of AIDS.

Especially if the loved one is a parent or other close adult or teenage relat ive, encourage him or her to leave tangible things for the child to be enjoy.

Even after death, the loved one can keep a connection with the child as he or she grows into adulthood. Take photographs of the loved one and of both the lov ed one and the child together, so that the child will have these mementos. Encou rage the loved one to leave special messages in writing and/or audio or video ca ssette tape to be given to the child at times such as a 16th birthday, high scho ol graduation, 21st birthday. Perhaps the loved one will choose a special gift t o be given at a significant time. One father wrote a book for his children: