If children know someone at school who has AIDS

If children know someone at school who has AIDS, talk to them about their thoughts and feelings. Don't assume that the discussion with a counselor or social worker was enough; be prepared to answer questions over time (including the same questions). Later, be sure to ask how the classmate is doing and how other children are reacting. If you are a children's church school leader, talk about AIDS , the infected child, and Christian ministry with your class. Discussion about a person who has AIDS will also include talk about death, grieving, and funerals.

When the classmate who has AIDS dies, someone will probably speak to the children at school.

"The day after Chris died, the social worker returned. She encouraged the students to talk about Chris. Someone remembered how good he was at Mad Math Facts in second grade. Someone remembered how the first grade teacher used to flick water on Chris's head, so Chris would grow faster. Mrs. Dorfsman said it's all right to remember bad things, too, and one boy mentioned the time in first grade, 'when Chris kicked a ball in my stomach'".3

Of Chris's 23 classmates, 20 went to the wake.

Again, discuss with children their thoughts and feelings about the death. Since a viewing and funerals are significant events, ask children if they want to attend. Never force them to go. If they decide to attend, describe concretely what they will see and feel and what will happen. Do this again before entering the viewing room or sanctuary. Explain the purpose of the funeral -- that it is a time to support and comfort each other and a time to honor the life of the person who has died.

Encourage children to tell or draw stories about their relationship with their friend. Explore with them any ritual of saying good bye they may want to do.