Start Teaching Children Now

Start Teaching Children Now

The best time to teach children about serious illnesses like AIDS and about death is now. Make use of teachable moments. These may come at anytime. Sometimes children raise questions themselves:

"I didn't eat my pizza at school today" my friend's eight-year old daughter commented at the supper table.

"Why was that?" her mother asked.

"The cafeteria lady wasn't wearing her gloves when she gave me the pizza. So I didn't eat it. I was afraid of getting AIDS."

My friend told her daughter that, although what the lady did wasn't sanitary, she could not catch AIDS that way. She told her how people get AIDS and how they do not get AIDS. Then she said, "You know two people who have AIDS. Remember Hazel from church?"

Her daughter nodded yes.

"Hazel has AIDS. She got the AIDS virus when she was still a drug addict. Remember when she visited us? She hugged you but you can't AIDS from a hug."

"Oh."

"Our friend Michael (a gay man) has AIDS too."

"I didn't know. I like to play with Michael. AIDS is serious. Will he die?"

"Michael is very sick. He has had AIDS for a few years now. Probably he will die. I am going to invite him over for dinner soon so you can see him. He likes playing with you and your brother. Because he is sick, he won't look the same as the last time you saw him. He will be a lot thinner."

I thought my friend gave some good responses to her daughter. She used a teachable moment to correct her daughter's misconceptions about AIDS and to inform her that she knew two adults with AIDS.

Recognize good occasions to teach children about AIDS, sexuality, and/or death. When a pet or wild animal dies, talk to children about grieving. If children remark that a friend's relative has died, ask about their thoughts and feelings. Discuss "after school specials" and other quality television programming about sickness, sexuality, death, and grief with children. News reports about the deaths of famous people can be teachable moments. If the celebrity died from AIDS, include education about AIDS in your discussion of the event, being sensitive to whether or not the children are worried about getting AIDS or about adult loved ones getting AIDS. Reassure children about how people get AIDS and how they don't get AIDS. If a family member has HIV/AIDS, be honest about that. Take your cues from children about how much information they want.

Children are exposed to death and to AIDS all of the time through the media. Unfortunately, much of what they learn is not helpful. For instance, younger children's ideas that death is reversible are reinforced when cartoons show a mouse or bird being eaten by the cat and jumping out the cat's mouth unharmed.

Fairy tales, such as Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, depict the dead coming back to life. Horror movies with vampires and zombies, which are "undead" creatures, also confuse children about death, not to mention other ways these movies may harm children's perceptions of reality.

Some movies glorify killing and/or create terror about death. War, crime, and western movies can numb children's understanding of the sacredness of life and increase their tolerance in real life for violence. Horror movies teach children that death is unnatural and/or that killing is exciting. Even bad learning situations such as these can be used to try to correct children's understanding about death.

Create your own teachable moments. Give children one of the books on the resource list to read or read to them. Be sure to discuss the book with them. Many of the books on the list are part of a new type of literature called "bibliotherapy" which helps children to deal with real-life issues, including AIDS.

Another way to create a teachable moment is to initiate conversations about AIDS. For instance, ask children questions such as:

"Do they teach you about AIDS in school? What do they teach?"

"What do your friends say about AIDS?"

"What do you think about how people get AIDS?"

"What would you do if one of your friends has AIDS?"

Listen carefully to children to know which direction to go with the conversation. In all teachable moments, encourage children to express their thoughts and feelings. They need adult guidance and support.