Explore your own attitudes

Most parents want to do their best in talking with their kids about sex and sexuality, but we’re often not sure how to begin. Here’s our advice:

Explore your own attitudes

Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex—because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them—are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject. So explore your feelings about sex. If you are very uncomfortable with the subject, read some books and discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, relative, physician, or clergy member. The more you examine the subject, the more confident you’ll feel discussing it.

Even if you can’t quite overcome your discomfort, don’t worry about admitting it to your kids. It’s okay to say something like, “You know, I’m uncomfortable talking about sex because my parents never talked with me about it. But I want us to be able to talk about anything—including sex—so please come to me if you have any questions. And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll find out.”

Start early

Teaching your children about sex demands a gentle, continuous flow of information that should begin as early as possible—for instance, when teaching your toddler where his nose and toes are, include “this is your penis” or “this is your vagina” in your talks. As your child grows, you can continue her education by adding more materials gradually until she understands the subject well.