You and him talking about sex and HIV

You and him talking about sex and HIV

Many gay guys find it difficult to talk openly and honestly about sex. Living with HIV can make it more difficult to talk about sex. And research has found that some men of colour and transmen find it especially difficult to talk about sex and safer sex with guys they have sex with.

Finding out if he has HIV too

When you think about having sex with another guy (or a group of guys), you might ask yourself:

• Does he have HIV too?
• Are we going to use condoms if we fuck?

You may find it difficult to ask him about his HIV status or to talk about condoms. It may be easier to avoid those subjects. Or you might just assume that he also has HIV. But unless you talk about it with him, you won’t know for sure if he has HIV. And you won’t know what he thinks about using condoms.

If you have assumed that he is HIV positive, and it turns out he is not, you could face criminal charges for not disclosing your status. And you could pass on HIV.

Deciding whether to tell him you have HIV

Deciding whether to tell the guy you have HIV may not be easy. But you might want to disclose your HIV status to a guy you are going to have sex with for reasons like these:

• You may find out he has HIV too.
• So he can decide what risks he wants to take.
• So each of you feels more comfortable about sex.
• If you’re going to start seeing each other after you have sex, better to tell him now rather than later.
• To protect yourself against possible criminal charges.