Who must I tell? Who should I tell?

Who must I tell? Who should I tell?

Your HIV is your business. Only you can decide who to tell and who not to.

If you are in a relationship, your partner has a right to know, but you have to decide when and how to break the news. If you are having more casual sex, you should know that several states now have laws against exposing another person to the virus without first disclosing your positive status – and even if there were no laws like that, it’s good practice to share your status before the clothes come off. For more, see Talking turkey with your honey.

Beyond that, it’s your call. You don’t need to tell your employer. Your parents may be too old to deal with it. Your kids may be too young. Don’t force the issue – HIV isn’t a death sentence anymore, and if you take care of yourself, you’re likely to be with them all for a long time to come. Deciding whether or not to tell friends or your faith community can be especially hard; they may not be very supportive at first, but maybe they need to know they know someone living with the virus.