Telling Your Kids

Telling Your Kids

A major concern for mothers with HIV is whether to tell their kids about their HIV and when and how they will do it. Opinions on how mothers should handle this hard decision are mixed. Some studies show that open communication about the illness to their kids is better than not telling them. Children may already know something is wrong; keeping the illness a secret can confuse children and make them feel anxious. Other studies have found that children have negative reactions to being told, like behavior problems, sexual risk-taking behavior, and lower school performance. Several studies have shown that if a HIV-positive mother reveals her status, telling a child to keep her health condition a secret is stressful for that child and as a result, that child may have behavior problems.

In one study, women with HIV who told their children about their illness were interviewed. The women recommend these tips for talking to your kids about your HIV status.

• Think about why you want to tell your children about your HIV status. Make sure you're ready and they're ready to listen.

• Educate yourself about HIV so you can talk to your children about the illness.

• Plan for what you're going to say to your children.

• Consider how healthy you are right now and how healthy you will be later. It might be better to talk to your child when you're feeling healthy and can show your child a healthy, positive attitude.

• Think about other things going on in the family. It may not be the best time to tell your child when there are other stresses in the family.

• After you tell your children, get them additional support. They could talk to a health professional who can talk more with your children about HIV.