Women and HIV/AIDS

Women & HIV/AIDS

If you have been diagnosed with HIV, you probably feel overwhelmed. There is a lot to think about. Questions like these may be going through your mind: How will you get the health care you need? How will having HIV impact your life? How will your family and friends react?

One challenge you will face is deciding who to tell about your HIV status. You should talk to your current and past sexual partners about your HIV status or people who you shared needles with. If you cannot tell them yourself, the health department in your area can notify your contacts without giving your name. You should also tell your doctors to get the care you need. You might also consider sharing your status with other people, such as family members, friends, and children.

[Return to Top]

Revealing HIV Status

Deciding who to share your status with is a very personal decision. It may be hard to know if telling certain people will bring good or bad outcomes. You might fear rejection, discrimination, abandonment, or isolation. You might worry about being judged or feel guilty about past drug use or sexual behavior. In some situations, revealing your status could put you at risk for physical harm. Since some people may not be as accepting of your HIV status, these are all valid issues to think about.

By opening up about your HIV status, you can get support, information, and acceptance. For example, you can talk to other women with HIV about your symptoms and fears or other issues like childcare and relationships. You can get emotional support, and you won't have the burden of keeping this secret. A support network can help you deal with the stresses of having HIV and help you to feel less alone.

Taking these steps can help you figure out whom you want to tell:

1. Think about the people you rely on for support, like family, friends, or coworkers.
2. Figure out your relationship with each of these people and the pros and cons of telling them.
3. Determine any issues the person might have that will affect how much he or she can support you. For example, does the person have any health problems of her own? Can you trust her?
4. Look at the person's attitude and knowledge about HIV. Do they have fears or misconceptions about HIV?
5. Think about why you'd want to tell this person. What kind of support can this person provide?
6. For each person, decide if the person should be told now, later, or to wait and see.

(Julianne Serovich, PhD, Professor, Marriage and Family Therapy)

Deciding who to tell may take a short time or a long time. There is no right way to do this. It is a very personal choice that only you can make.

When you tell someone that you're HIV-positive, they may also need support. Be ready with information they can read; phone numbers for support groups; and contact information for other people in your support network they can talk to.